Uncertainty, it’s something we all have in our lives. If you’re like me, uncertainty can bring hope, but it often feels like it is overtaken by fear. Fear in not knowing what lies ahead. Feeling anxious in not knowing if your dreams and plans will be fulfilled. Singleness often turns into worry as we become older that it may be a permanent title we are given instead of a temporary stage of life.
For me, uncertainty leaves me feeling restless in my singleness. I find it ever so difficult to have faith and hope for the future when I don’t know for certain God has a husband in store for my life. I grow discouraged planning out my future, when I don’t see any changes occurring in my life. I never dreamed I’d still be living at home at 26 and no potential relationship on the horizon. Uncertainty is something I’m definitely used to, but it’s certainly not something I’ve conquered in any way.
At times it feels like something is missing in my life. Sometimes I think marriage will solve all my problems and my life will suddenly become perfect. Marriage won’t satisfy my heart. Being loved by a man won’t cure the longing of acceptance within me. Marriage still has it’s problems, if not more! Marriage isn’t a ticket to a happy life, just a different one.
As each day passes, I try to squeeze out a little more hope for the future. Hope that God may allow my circumstances to finally change. Each day rolls by and it seems like my circumstances stay the same, but my hope seems to vanquish just a little bit more.
Hope is one of those things that I have found the most successful in pulling me through seasons of uncertainty, although hope shouldn’t be be our only means of pulling through.
Finding Hope for the Future
God is in control
Knowing God is in control of my life helps give me peace, even in my uncertainty. God will lead me in the way He desires me to go, when I’m seeking after Him. If God has a husband for me, we will meet in the perfect time and place. I don’t have to worry or get restless waiting, because God is directing me when I’m trusting Him. I don’t have to become anxious if I missed an opportunity, because if it’s God’s will it will happen. I know that if I need something, God will provide it. Control is one of the hardest things to let go of, but it’s ever so important when we are entrusting our lives to God.
Change can occur at any moment
Realizing that God can change my circumstances at any moment is one of those things that excites me, but also scares me. I don’t know what the future holds. There’s a level of intrigue that uncertainty brings. God is capable to perform amazing acts that we never dreamed could occur. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. Maybe tomorrow is the day that God will allow you to meet your future spouse. I like to think that Satan likes to get us most discouraged when something great is just around the bend. Just like in baseball, the players aim for the players getting closest to home plate, rather than first plate. It’s because they’re nearing a “home run” and going to make a win. I like to think Satan uses the same tactic. He sees you’re getting close to seeing God work, and wants ever so much to discourage and flood you with negative thoughts. Keep holding on, you never know when tomorrow could be the day of revival!
God is capable of doing the impossible
One of the most debilitating thoughts for me in singleness is growing worried that the man I desire doesn’t exist. Qualities I desire in a husband are hard to come by. Being that I had a strict moral upbringing makes me wonder if I will be able to find a man with those same qualities and desires that I do. I have to continually remind myself that the God who created those desires and morals I strive towards, also created my future husband. God knew before time began who I would need as my husband and what qualities he would possess. The same goes for you! He’s the God of the impossible. He may not always perform the impossible in our lives if it’s not His will, but what we think is a hopeless cause, God can use as an opportunity to show His divine power.
Isaiah 43:19
For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
An eternal hope
Eternal hope lies in more than just temporal longings for the future. I struggle to find a deeper source to my hope. It’s easy to lose track and let the hopes of this world flood into my mind. The next time you feel discouraged and need something to hope for, look past this world. Remember where your future lies. Not your earthly future, but your heavenly home. Remember that the temporal longings of this world will pass away. Things viewed as important and relationship statuses won’t matter. Choose to live a life that glorifies God and loves others, despite your unmet desires. God can use even the most bleak of circumstances to strengthen our relationship with Him and transform us into heros that others may view as unsuccessful or unqualified. You may feel like your life is far from where you pictured, but God has a greater picture planned for your life than what you can see.
How I long for things to change in my current stage of life. Desires that I wish would be finally met. Dreams that I wish would come true like I see in Disney fairytales. My life has more meaning right now than the dreams I desire to come true. If my life could be how I planned it, I wouldn’t have a life that I would need to trust God through every season. I have found that the longest seasons of life are often the times where God has used to strengthen me the most. If we had provision instantly fulfilled in our lives, we wouldn’t develop character.
We may feel uncertain in our future, but choose to be content and live for God right now. Not tomorrow. Not if your dating or married. I love the quote from John Piper: “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” I grow concerned about where my future is headed that I forget to find contentment in the present. God is working right here and right now. It may be invisible, but it’s happening.
You may be uncertain as to whether your future spouse exists, but God is working it out. You may only be aware of a few of God’s fingerprints, but if God has a spouse out there for you He has it all planned out in the timing you should meet. No mistakes and no plan B’s.
Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Even though trials are difficult and the waiting seems overbearing, having a life where I need to rely and trust on God every step along the way is more meaningful than if I lived that perfect fairytale life I desire. Choose joy right where you are because you can rest assured God is working. Don’t use this current season waiting for your future spouse. Live right now in the season God has you in. In God’s perfect timing, He will bring your future spouse into the picture. Focus on God and serve Him, not searching or wallowing in singleness.